6 REASONS YOU ARE STILL UNMARRIED

1. STIFFISH PRINCIPLES:
You will know you have a problem if you bagged same negative experience from more than two people - especially on different occasions where parties involved don't know themselves. Please institute a change or flexibility plan into your principles.

Relationship principles should be different from business principles. For females, when your principles are stiff, the male folks assume you are proud, arrogant and inconsiderate - you don't want to pass wrong impressions about yourself. For men, when your principles are stiff, the women folks believe you are difficult and mean - you don't want to pass wrong impressions about yourself.

Bottom line, No matter how productive you want your life to be, your principles have to be flexible.

2. HIGH PARTNER PERSONALITY EXPECTATIONS:
If I ask you; What personality would you give to your partner if you have the powers to bestow personalities? I can bet that your list will be endless.

I once asked Caroline; if you have the power to change anything in me, what would it be? I was amazed at her response. She had always confessed in love, how perfect and a soothing water I am to her thirst. But this time, the storyline changed... "I would increase your height..." you can bet her list was an open book. The problem is that we want our partners to be perfect - to match the picture we have created in our minds. But the sad truth we often cast to air is; if nobody is and will ever be perfect, why expect to have a perfect partner? You can recreate your picture by setting Realistic Qualities of your proposed life partner.

3. NEGATIVE ATTITUDE TO SOCIALIZATION:
How do you react when you are asked out on a date? How do you react when a man ask for your contact - phone number? Refusing him doesn't make you a "good girl". How do you react in the presence of your spouse's friends? Let these questions reshape your socializational attitude.

It is ok to be reserved but to be antisocial is sheer stupidity.

4. UNADMITTED STUPIDITY:
Most ladies believe they are too beautiful, perhaps too rich to be proposed to by men they consider to be ugly/ poor. And most men believe they are too rich, perhaps too handsome to propose to poor-uneducated ladies or by poor uneducated ladies.

No matter how much beauty you possess, your ultimate goal is to become a wife (partner) and mother - your career is secondary. Perhaps, your career has been put in first-place while becoming a wife/ mother has occupied the second place. You need a realistic adjustment in your scale of importance. You don't care about men because you can pay your bills and get yourself anything you want, you drive sophisticated cars, live in a well furnished duplex and have rich friends; I'm glad to announce to you... time ticks on!

I know you haven't thought, let alone admit these aforementioned realities to be one of the factors pulling you away from marriage - which is why I call it "Unadmitted Stupidity"! The day you admit it, the day you stop being stupid - the day you start experiencing a great turnaround in your relationship.

5. TOO RELIGIOUS TO BE REAL:
A lot of us are religious fanatics. We love to be viewed as "holy" when we know in realism, we are no where close. What you believe is your choice. Why carry it on your forehead? Your level of spirituality or belief will never stop you from being real and will never force you to become fake. No matter how religious you are, you have to be real!

6. ILL- ATTITUDINAL DISPLAY:
Your attitude has been one of the major reasons you are still unmarried. For some ladies, you lack courtesy - a polite behaviour. For others, you lack self control - the ability to control the way you talk, act and react to situations.

When a man ask you out on a date or request for your contact, how do you decline? If eventually you gave him your phone number, how do you react to his calls? What overall impressions do you leave him with?

A ready-to-be-married man takes your attitudes and reactions personal; they determine his stay and continuous pursuance in the norm.

For the male folks, your attitude towards money, caring and remorse will tell if you will be an all loving husband and father or something else.

How you react to situations define who you are - your values, strengths and weaknesses. The problem most people have is that they lack the sense of maturity. I have always said that maturity is not bent on age, body seize or height - maturity is in the mind. Your ability to handle situations appropriately, your ability to self control, your ability to know what is right and stand by it to see it done without deflecting from the cause suggest your level of maturity.

MY ADVICE FOR YOU IS:
Look into the mission statement of your "personal" life and make realistic adjustments. If you don't have a "Mission Statement", go ahead and write ONE! Just like each company or organization structures her mission statement, your mission statement stands as a guide through this wild wide world.

Please leave your comments...

Kind Regards
Paul Okuk